This may be a dubious achievement, but still, it was achieved.
From: Not Judy Wice <judywice@yahoo.
Date: Thu, Oct 9, 2008 at 4:18 PM
Subject: [Up-Tight] A new contender for World's Worst Musical Instrument.
To: Up-Tight@yahoogroup
A new contender for World's Worst Musical Instrument.
[reposted from the Beatles Lounge and Napoleon Park]
No doubt the bagpipes, pan flute, theremin, ocarina. moog synthesize,
simeon, rain stick, triangle, wood block, cow bell, fretless bass,
sitar, kazoo, jew's-harp and tissue paper covered comb all have valid
claims to the title, but there is a new nominee vying for claim of The
World's Most Annoying Musical Instrument.
This was a remarkably clever innovative development, actually. Based
on the sounds a moving vehicle makes while traveling over uneven
terrain, the fine folks at the Honda Motors company discovered that
they could repave a section of highway and then cut grooves in the
pavement, so that a properly loaded Honda Civic with correctly
inflated tires traveling at exactly 55 MPH would create a buzzing
noise remarkably similar to a portion of The William Tell Overture by
Gioacchino Rossini - specifically the passage more commonly known as
"the theme from the Lone Ranger".
To alleviate some of the burden of blame from the Honda research and
development department, it should be noted that it was Honda's
advertising division that urged them to move forward in making this
concept a reality. However, in popular fiction is is usually the
scientists who take the blame for focusing on the benefits to mankind
their discoveries will have in a best case scenario and completely
overlook the Frankenstein monster or world-destroying computer systems
they might unleash in the case something goes tragically, horribly awry.
In this case, they seem to have overlooked the rather obvious fact
that not all motor vehicles are Honda Civics. That a vehicle traveling
faster than 56 MPH or slower than 54 MPH would alter the tempo of the
composition, that incorrect tire pressure or differences in weight or
load distribution could all alter pitch and that, even when performed
optimally the result could be described as an eerie moan and, under
less than perfect condition, as a horrible annoying howl.
Additionally, they missed out on the fact that locating this stretch
of roadway in an inhabited area would negatively impact the quality of
life of the nearby residents, and that short of closing down the road
entirely, the instrument had no on/off switch.
The result was, the roadway was constructed to specifications and some
informal recordings were made, some of which can apparently be found
on YouTube. That complaints were made and the project was determined
to be a Public Nuisance and a Disturbance of the Peace. That Honda was
made to cover the cost of repaving the roadway back to it's more
silently operating condition. And that to date the proposed ad
campaign built around this project has not surfaced, other than on
YouTube.
So, just remember the next time you have a brilliant idea for a new
method of creating music, be sure to ask yourself that eternal
question "What could possibly go wrong?"
= Heugenot Walloon =
Musical Road in Lancaster, CA
on YouTube
http://uk.youtube.
[I included the wall of oscillators known as the Simeon on the list of
worst instruments for the benefit of the Up-Tight members who I knew
would 'get it'. you might object to the inclusion, but have you ever
tried to play one? Seriously, an instrument that only one person in
the world knows how to play? How bad it that?]
[ARSCLIST] mostly for laughs too-- audio in asphalt?
| show details 10/25/06 |
We took a driving vacation from Oakland, CA to Denver last summer. I noticed again that highways nowadays feature a continuous procession of indentations, perpendicular to the roadbed, running just outboard of the slow lane. They look to be about an inch and a half deep and wide, by maybe eight inches long. They're regularly spaced at perhaps four inches apart.
When driven over, they produce a noticeable vibration throughout the car. No doubt the idea is to wake up drowsy drivers before they can drift too far off the road.
This generic buzz strikes me as terribly short-sighted. It shouldn't be that difficult to vary these indentations so as to encode specific sounds into the pavement. The vehicle's tire act as a stylus, while the body of the car resonates all around.
To really shake up the somnambulant sojourner, I'd think a chorus of "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-
Other thoughts?
Yours for safety,
Rod
| show details 10/25/06 |
rodbrown wrote:
Hi folks,
We took a driving vacation from Oakland, CA to Denver last summer. I noticed again that highways nowadays feature a continuous procession of indentations, perpendicular to the roadbed, running just outboard of the slow lane. They look to be about an inch and a half deep and wide, by maybe eight inches long. They're regularly spaced at perhaps four inches apart.
When driven over, they produce a noticeable vibration throughout the car. No doubt the idea is to wake up drowsy drivers before they can drift too far off the road.
This generic buzz strikes me as terribly short-sighted. It shouldn't be that difficult to vary these indentations so as to encode specific sounds into the pavement. The vehicle's tire act as a stylus, while the body of the car resonates all around.
To really shake up the somnambulant sojourner, I'd think a chorus of "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-De-Yay" would work well. Or we could recruit a severe, maternal voice-over actress to read, "Wake up, pull over, and take a nap!!"
Other thoughts?
Yours for safety,
Rod
show details 10/25/06 |
are meant to keep sleepy drivers from going off the road. I first
encountered them in Pennsylvania about 30 years ago, and now they are
all over New York and apparently many other places. (I must confess
that it also occurred to me they could be *tuned* - though reality
dictates that for my tax dollars I'd prefer the potholes be kept
patched.)
Sue
Susan T Stinson, Curator
Belfer Audio Laboratory and Archive
Syracuse University Library
222 Waverly Avenue
Syracuse, NY 13244-2010
315-443-3477 / fax 443-4866
| show details 10/25/06 |
> This generic buzz strikes me as terribly short-sighted. It
> shouldn't
> be that difficult to vary these indentations so as to encode
> specific
> sounds into the pavement.
experimented in the 60s with laying down a pattern
of ridges that would say "getover-getover-
as you drove over them. No idea what the upshot
of that experiment was, or if it was even an urban
legend.
David Breneman david_breneman@
show details 10/25/06 |
From: "rodbrown" <rodbrown@MINDSPRING
> To really shake up the somnambulant sojourner, I'd think a chorus of
> "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-
> maternal voice-over actress to read, "Wake up, pull over, and take a
> nap!!"
>
> Other thoughts?
>
"Sleepy-Time Gal"
"Sleepy Valley"
Definitely not Waring's theme of "Sleep!"
"On That Great Gettin' Up Mornin'"
the "Reveille" bugle call (sp?)
"Shake Rattle and Roll" ("get outa that bed and wash yo face and hands..."
"Stay On the Right Side Of the Road"
"Red, Red Robin" (not the full title!)
and isn't there an old hymn, something like
"Awake, Ye Sinners?"
Steven C. Barr
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